Is it just me, or has the world lost its everloving mind?

As I sat watching CNN news Friday evening, I was struck by CNN's coverage of the Michael Phelps bong saga. As the world appears to be collapsing around us, CNN spent a fairly hefty chunk of time on this absolutely friggin' meaningless story. His talent? He swims fast. Big deal. I'd be more impressed if he swam all of those races and at the same time outswam a Great White Shark about to make a meal of his waterlogged arse. My first responses were (1) who cares, and (2) I sure hope the folks at Doritos recognize the endorsement goldmine that the "World's Greatest Athlete" provides. Then, in considering all of this, I came up with a theory.

My theory is this: because TV and websites have a 24-hour news cycle, and it takes a lot of (meaningless and otherwise) stuff to fill all that time (and, that also means telling the same story, over and over again, just to fill air time), it has two effects: (1) it trivializes "real" news (most news organizations have no news judgment--they're just pandering to people's ignorance and stupidity), and (2) the effects of any bad news are multiplied dramatically.

While I fully realize that our economy is tanking, I can't help but wonder if at least part of what is going on is a psychological reaction and is stoked by news organizations beating the same end-of-the-world drum, every fifteen minutes, ad nauseum. People have quit spending because they are scared shitless, which then triggers layoffs, etc., driving people to an even higher level of scared shitlessness, precluding them from spending because they now are unemployed. It becomes a cyclical downward spiral of fear which just makes things perhaps worse than they would've been if we only had Walter Cronkite telling us the numbers every night at 5:30 p.m. I'm certainly not making an argument for ignorance of our current economic situation, but at least it's food for thought.

This just in . . .Doritos has made Michael Phelps a 7-figure endorsement offer, which will drive up the cost of Doritos, making them more expensive, which people won't buy because they're too scared to spend, throwing Dorito workers out of work. Stay tuned for the full story.

The show is up

I got an email that my "retrospective" is now hanging, and allegedly, the folks in the J-School like it. A pity that I didn't have more to really go back and look at neagtives from the last century. Oh well, next time. My daughter stopped by to look and said it looked good. It's a good thing she is totally objective. I'll go by soon and see it. When I don't get to make the prints, I get nervous. So, if you're in the neighborhood of KU's Stauffer-Flint Hall sometime this spring, go to the second floor and take a look. One caveat: I didn't print or choose the framing, so if you don't like it, don't blame me.

Retrospective

I received an email from the KU School of Journalism last week. The person wanted to know if I was interested in displaying 20-30 photos of my photos at the J-School. I was flattered and I immediately said yes. Who wouldn't want to show their work at their alma mater? Then, I really began thinking about it.

First, I wondered who the hell backed out on such short notice. After all, they want these images framed and on the wall by February 6th, so being local, well, you do the math.

Second, I quickly discovered just how much of my work was inaccessible to me, given the short time frame. Anything I shot on film before the advent of digital would need to be scanned and printed, or negatives sent out for printing immediately. No time for that, so a lot of my favorites from the '80s and '90s are out by default.

Third, a lot of the digital I shot in 2001-2003 just really won't hold up in 16 x 20 enlargements. Or at least something I want to have my name associated with.

Fourth, my archiving efforts have been absolutely abysmal. It's as if I have a big digital shoe box and I have thrown most of my images into--at least since I went to law school in 2005. Note to self: I need to catalog the cabinet full of DVDs. Need to investigate better archiving software. If I sent down for one solid week of 12 hour days, I MIGHT get a handle on it. MAYBE.

Fifth, I need to rededicate myself to some sort of long term photographic project to keep my eye sharp and to bring a little joy and creative energy into my life.

Finally, and most importantly, it is truly humbling to look back at what you've shot and what you thought was good. Much of it doesn't strike me the same way it did when I first shot it. As a matter of fact, much of what I've shot in my career as a photographer seems quite vapid in retrospect. I'd classify a lot of it as a kind of visual elevator Musak. Certainly not Wagner or even the Partridge Family. I spent the better part of the yesterday looking for photos, editing, and lamenting that I've spent almost 30 years shooting professionally, and my impression of my work is that I produced a plethora of incredibly average images. They paid the bills, but most of them do not nourish the soul or deserve to be hung on a wall for all to see. Maybe I'm overthinking all of this, but I sure hope that the the poor journalism students who are subjected to viewing my work on a daily basis for the next 4 months don't think I've wasted my time, because that's exactly how I feel as I edit my "retrospective." I know I'll likely be remembered for other more important things, but I am going to make it a goal to produce some images that I would be proud of when my final retrospective is hung.

Feeling blue

When I went outside Saturday afternoon to try out a new camera (yes, I still buy cameras), it was spring. A few minutes later, it was winter again. Weird. Kind of like life right now--I'm not sure what end is up most of the time. But I like the what I found. Now, if only I could say that about the rest of my life. I'm working on it.

Hats off to Aimee and Ryan

My eldest daughter, Aimee, and her husband Ryan, hosted Christmas at their place this year. It was a great change of pace and they are great hosts. My hat is off to them for their wonderful hospitality. It was the best Christmas I've had in awhile. Hope your's was great too.

Happy Holidays 2008

At our office Christmas party last week, after I had commented that this has been a bad year for me, my boss was quick to point out that it had actually been a good year (what the hell was I thinking anyway?). Let me see, I finished law school, I passed the bar, got a job, my daughter got married to a very nice guy and I have a wonderful family. Those are all undoubtedly good things. On the bad side, I watched my mother succumb to cancer and die an agonizing death and I am perpetually afraid that in my job as an attorney I am going to make a big mistake and hurt a client (read: cost them a bunch of money). Maybe he's right. Maybe I'm right (I tend to think I am, but, again, what the hell do I know?). We'll just agree that it was a tumultuous year. I was lucky to have friends and family to see me through the hard times, and for that I am thankful and wish everyone in my orbit happy holidays and a great 2009.