Sunday, January 18, 2009

Retrospective



I received an email from the KU School of Journalism last week. The person wanted to know if I was interested in displaying 20-30 photos of my photos at the J-School. I was flattered and I immediately said yes. Who wouldn't want to show their work at their alma mater? Then, I really began thinking about it.

First, I wondered who the hell backed out on such short notice. After all, they want these images framed and on the wall by February 6th, so being local, well, you do the math.

Second, I quickly discovered just how much of my work was inaccessible to me, given the short time frame. Anything I shot on film before the advent of digital would need to be scanned and printed, or negatives sent out for printing immediately. No time for that, so a lot of my favorites from the '80s and '90s are out by default.

Third, a lot of the digital I shot in 2001-2003 just really won't hold up in 16 x 20 enlargements. Or at least something I want to have my name associated with.

Fourth, my archiving efforts have been absolutely abysmal. It's as if I have a big digital shoe box and I have thrown most of my images into--at least since I went to law school in 2005. Note to self: I need to catalog the cabinet full of DVDs. Need to investigate better archiving software. If I sent down for one solid week of 12 hour days, I MIGHT get a handle on it. MAYBE.

Fifth, I need to rededicate myself to some sort of long term photographic project to keep my eye sharp and to bring a little joy and creative energy into my life.

Finally, and most importantly, it is truly humbling to look back at what you've shot and what you thought was good. Much of it doesn't strike me the same way it did when I first shot it. As a matter of fact, much of what I've shot in my career as a photographer seems quite vapid in retrospect. I'd classify a lot of it as a kind of visual elevator Musak. Certainly not Wagner or even the Partridge Family. I spent the better part of the yesterday looking for photos, editing, and lamenting that I've spent almost 30 years shooting professionally, and my impression of my work is that I produced a plethora of incredibly average images. They paid the bills, but most of them do not nourish the soul or deserve to be hung on a wall for all to see. Maybe I'm overthinking all of this, but I sure hope that the the poor journalism students who are subjected to viewing my work on a daily basis for the next 4 months don't think I've wasted my time, because that's exactly how I feel as I edit my "retrospective." I know I'll likely be remembered for other more important things, but I am going to make it a goal to produce some images that I would be proud of when my final retrospective is hung.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Feeling blue



When I went outside Saturday afternoon to try out a new camera (yes, I still buy cameras), it was spring. A few minutes later, it was winter again. Weird. Kind of like life right now--I'm not sure what end is up most of the time. But I like the what I found. Now, if only I could say that about the rest of my life. I'm working on it.